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Be Your Own Valentine This February: Meditation as a Guide to Unconditional Self-Love

Written by Marcella Hornyak


Posted on February 08 2020

Edited by: Julia Giordano

February has arrived, which means that for many of us, love is on our mind. For some of us, Valentine’s Day is a perfect excuse to get dressed up and go on a romantic date with our partner. While others, may connect this day to sadness, and best celebrate it with some trusted friends and a bottle of wine. 

The sentiment of expressing love, through a special date, or a night in with a hurting friend, is a well-known signifier of Valentine’s Day. Although showing love to others is greatly valued, and we enjoy feeling the appreciation of those around us, it is often the case that we do not give this kind of love to ourselves. 

The truth is, the most important, and everlasting love that you can ever have, is the love you share with yourself. However, loving ourselves is something most of us do not spend enough time doing - or maybe is not even something we think about. But it is an essential piece to the journey within you, and is especially guided by the heart chakra. 

I am going to help you reflect inwards and balance your heart chakra, to awaken a deep and fulfilling self love - one that will make you feel like you are receiving flowers and chocolates every day. My mission is to make this February 14th the one that you spend focusing on forming a stronger love for yourself.

The heart chakra is the fourth of the seven main chakras within our body. It is located just where you would expect it to be - right where your heart is in your chest. This chakra is associated with nurture, both of the self and others. The love that we experience in our life radiates through the heart chakra, which has no limits. Therefore, our heart chakra has the capacity for unconditional love, sometimes it just needs a little help to become completely open to it. 

That’s where A Journey Within Me can help. Learning to open your heart chakra will create a stronger balance in your life, and heal the wounds of your past that are holding you back from loving unconditionally. 

This February allow meditation to open your heart, by focusing your loving attention on:

  • The Relationship with yourself - Introspective reflection can draw attention to blockages in your life that are challenging your unconditional self-love. 
  • Forgiveness - of yourself and others - The ability forgive opens space for love, and takes weight off of your heart.
  • Connecting Your Mind and Soul - Use chakra stones, yoga, and guided meditation as a regular practice in your daily routine to embrace the spirituality inside of you.


Redefine Your Relationship With Yourself:

While the heart chakra is home to love, it is also where trauma visits and often lingers. Sadness, pain, negative sexual experiences, and longing can place a great deal of strain on your heart and your body. Healing the scars of your past that have caused these feelings, can be a difficult process that takes time and special attention. But there is always the potential to bring unity and balance back into your life. 

While looking inward, reflect on the moments within your past that have hurt you. Try to notice any patterns of toxic behavior and put them at the forefront of your mind for their release. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love. The experiences of your past can be let go, they do not define your ability to love others or your ability to love yourself.

It is easy to let a negative relational experience hold you back from expressing or feeling that kind love again. It is also possible for those experiences to limit the love you give to yourself. Work to rebuild your self-consciousness by reminding yourself of the goodness of love. Remind yourself of the positive feelings you have felt before to create an open space for those feelings to reenter your life. Begin to attach those feelings to aspects of yourself, by placing them next to the parts of you that you love most. For example, if a love in your life filled you with laughter, praise yourself when you laugh - love yourself for being able to love something that has been a reminder of hurting. 


We all have those moments in our life that we choose to box up and put away to deal with later. However, we all know just as well that this never seems to work. It can be an uncomfortable feeling to let go of the instances that we associate with pain or negativity. Sometimes, it may even feel like it will hurt less to focus on anger or avoidance, but these decisions strain our being, and hold the heart chakra back, blocking its capacity for  unconditional love. 

The wounds of our past that are deeply connected to our relationship with ourselves, are most likely thirsting for forgiveness. Remember that your emotions, the good and the bad, are connected to your journey, and once you find yourself in a position that is ready for healing, you will find yourself progressing in your journey within you. The sooner you bring yourself to forgiveness, the sooner you will welcome unconditional love into your life. 

Work to bring yourself towards opening the box you have tucked away, and embrace all the feelings attached to what is inside. Bring these feelings to mind, as well as who is in need of your forgiveness, even if that person is you. Center yourself with a mindset of acceptance by reflecting on the loveable aspects of who you would like to forgive. Achieving forgiveness becomes an easier task when you are reminded of what is that you love about that person, and accept that the potential of unconditional love is inside of you.    

Connect Your Mind and Soul:

Once you have reflected on your relationship with yourself and forgiveness, these thoughts can be manifested into action through their connection with your soul. The best ways to bridge the gap between your mind and soul are to practice forms of mindfulness, especially yoga and meditation. Making these practices a regular part of your day and week will push you further in your journey within you. Sometimes it helps to physically schedule in time for these practices, so that you can remind yourself to make time focused on only you

Meditating with the use of heart chakra stones and lavender essential oil, can help to release the energy you need to let go of, and open space for loving energy to reside instead. The specific stones associated with the heart chakra are Rose Quartz, Moss Agate, Chrysocolla, and Aventurine, which all have their own healing elements that benefit the heart most. Lavender essential oil is known to have its own healing properties as well, specifically connected to your emotions and spirituality.

Now that you have prepared your mind and spirit for rebalance, let this affirmation guide your healing: 

Today I open and allow energy of happiness, 

joy, love, and peace to flow through me. 

I follow the law of attraction and attract love into my life.

I choose love. 

I am thankful for the year around me. 

My heart is open to receiving and giving love. 


I spread love to everyone around me, 

and it returns to me in abundance.

I trust the universe will find me my perfect mate to feel love. 

I see you love.

I am love. 

Mastering unconditional love is something that the heart chakra makes possible for all of us, and the more time we dedicate to loving our unique selves, the easier this process becomes. Love is abundant in its quantity, and is deserved to be experienced by all. Loving those who are special to us is a joyful feeling that I could not imagine living without; but my hope is that the further you travel in your journey within you, the more you will be unable to imagine living without loving yourself!


Featured on are chakra stones and roller sets for all of the 7 main chakras. These sets are meant to enhance your meditative state while directing your energy towards the specific loving attention that each chakra needs.

Keep posted to my blog and social media (@ajourneywithinme on Instagram and Twitter) for features on each chakra and how to use and cleanse each set most effectively. 



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