Personal Experience With My Heart Chakra•
Posted on February 10 2020
When my husband and I began to date, I was completely broken.
I wanted the relationship, but I went into it with my walls up. I had gone through a lot of Bad relationships. You know how it goes, I was looking for love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong guys.
So I had it in my head that the bottom would fall out at any time. This relationship was different. I wasn’t only putting myself out there to be hurt, I was putting my son in that position too.
Soon after we started dating, we bought a home together. I was happy, or at least I thought I was. But I began to push him away. In all aspects of my life, I found myself feeling I couldn’t trust him. Although, he gave me no reason to think this was the case.
I felt like I was completely losing myself.
Talk about a heart chakra being blocked, everything within it was blocked!
I felt like I was losing my mind. I pushed this man so far away from me and didn’t treat him as he deserved to be treated. I felt like I was becoming a monster.
I started hiding my emotions by drinking, but that only led me farther down in my spiral. I took everything out on him. I didn’t think I was lovable. I didn’t think I had anything to offer.
It hit me one day that I needed help - I didn’t want to live this way. That day was when my real Journey began. I had to find myself. I had to learn how to heal.
Heal from my past relationships, from my childhood, and from the present moment. I had to learn to love myself, before I could love anyone else. I had to learn to forgive others and forgive myself.
I no longer wanted to be a victim anymore. I wanted to fight for myself. I wanted to be over the pain of my past and I wanted to love and be loved. Believe me, it scared the shit out of me. But I started fighting for me.
I can honestly say I am a survivor. This is why I want to share my journey, so it may help you along your own.
Meditation, yoga, Reiki, working with my chakra, and working with my therapist has moved me towards having a beautiful life that I can enjoy and trust.
It was very painful to work through a life of hell, but I didn’t give up. It took me years, but I finally have peace and I am happily married to a man who didn’t stop fighting to help me.
We have a beautiful life and my son became our son.
It was worth the fight and I continue to heal and grow each day.
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